Question : Dear Swamiji, I have a problem that my child is too anxious about so many things. Like even after doing an exam well he is afraid that he may fail. Or like he expects that some thing bad may occur him. He is studying in the 5th. I also was having the same problem in my childhood. Seeing his difficult situation I am also worried. How can I mold him to an ideal person. I am a spiritual seeker even though not fully involved in that. I am a government servant. Please advice me solution for this.
Answer :
Dear and blessed GS:
Harih Om Tat Sat. Your email of 15th Sep is before me and I am reading it again.
Every child comes with a heredity, in bodily and inner counterparts. Bodily heredity is somewhat visible. Inner heredity will reveal only through actions and tendencies. Ever since birth, acquisitions are made to this heredity, initially through parental guidance and subsequently through other environments.
Inner heredity rests on the mind, intelligence and ego. Mind is a chord made of three strands, love, hate and fear. In some, one or more of these will be strong. In your child’s case, it is apparently fear. Recognize this fact first. And then learn and train him to tame it effectively.
Every one has fear and must have. It helps us to coexist and co-function effectively.
However, often fear is imaginary. If a child happens to be late to return from school, the parents begin to wonder why, and soon land mentally on some accidents, for no reason.
Once a young woman narrated something like this about her husband getting late from factory in the evening, I asked her: “How many times will your husband have an accident or will die?”
“Once” she said.
“Has it happened so far?”
“No.”
Then why all this while did you mentally put him to accident? Was it right, necessary?
“No.”
“At least from now, avoid causing accident to him yourself. If something were to happen, you would get the news from the factory or the hospital.”
She said, from that moment, she did no have the fear and anxiety at all.
Mind has the notorious habit of doubting and fearing always. Understand this is not right and try to sublimate it, by proper reflection beforehand, and also during the occurrence – each time. Like body – to have good health – the mind also needs exercises and nourishment.
I wonder whether you are the mother or father of the child. Also wonder why you did not mention your name in full and that of your son. It would have given a personal touch to me, and also made reference easier.
Love and aashirvaad
Antaraatma
Swami Bhooomananda Tirtha.
