One day Ma had asked T : “Very often we give you guidance, making corrections about what you do and how it should be improved. Do you sometimes think: “Oh! Am I so useless? Is whatever I have known and learnt all wrong?”
“Yes” replied T. “Sometimes I do feel like that. It is not that I do not recognize the wrong and insufficiency in what I am doing, but the mind does not always accept the corrections. It revolts.”
Understand that everyone comes from a certain domestic and social background over which he has no control or choice, to begin with. By the time one has grown into an adult, a set of qualities and traits, physical as well as mental, has already got consolidated. Thus every one carries his nature.
When one comes to the Ashram he will have to fit into the atmosphere and situation here. I am here; Ma and Naya Swamiji are here; so are Gudia, Sateesh, Prabhakaran and others. All together constitute the Ashram. A new incumbent will naturally have to fit into and blend with the standard, style and culture of the place. It may mean a definite change, even a contrast to what he was used to earlier. But, generally it should be always for the better.
The newcomer will naturally have regular interactions with all in various degrees. There will be close observations, comments and evaluations too. But it is not criticism, as people generally say. In spite of the usual resistance and lack of receptivity, some improvement does take place in the process.
But the real spiritual note is one of self-effacement. Yes, a great deal of ego-effacement or ego-sublimation will be required. It is possible that at some point you may wonder: “Am I so useless? Are all my ways and manners, wrong and unbecoming?”
I think the problem is deeper. Yesterday I was travelling with S, and we had some time to talk to each other. S was sharing his thoughts. In that connection, I told him that a woman, when married, will need to be psychologically supported and strengthened by the husband: “You are very dear to me, close to my heart. I need you. Without you I am not happy; my life would be incomplete.” Apart from a fact and truth, these words are an indispensable need of marital relationship. Whatever be the language or the notes of sharing, the husband will have to make the wife feel her singular place and importance in his life.
The role of the wife also is equally so. She will have to give her husband the enrichment and fulfillment his heart would yearn for. He may have his profession, and all the variety and interactions it may bring. But he would still need to feel that there is one who considers him as everything and all, and without whose closeness he would be nothing and nowhere at all. This is a psychological nourishment every manly heart needs and yearns for. After all, the two are living together; why not make the life mutually fulfilling?
S said, “Swamiji, it is such a simple thing, but most of the married people do not know it. They marry but do not know how to go about the new life they so much looked forward to! It is sheer ignorance.”
That is why good and happy people are very rare in this world.
Those who come to stay in the Ashram should understand that there is something new in living in the Ashram and the sense of collectivity should be sufficiently felt. Seekers who come to stay for long do not usually know what is spiritual relationship and where lies its strength. There is no wonder in this.
Now listen, J, the quality of the mind lies in making contradictions coexist harmoniously. Is it too much when I say this simple but great truth? My Baba used to tell me that there is a point where the contradictions meet. I would like to add,”and dissolve”.
You will find that to make the mind balanced and stable, it must host contradictions without any disturbance or agitation. A man of balance and harmony is one in whom this beautiful, though strange, fruition takes place.
Who is a devotee? A devotee is anapeksha – who does not have any expectation or apekshaa. At the same time, he cannot relent or relax in matters of his own purity. Purity should not be restricted to a limited field of activity as many perhaps think. You have to be very pure and clean; not only physically – in the matter of bathing, dressing and all your surroundings – but also in your thoughts and speech. In fact anything you do and that is around you should reflect your concern for purity. At the same time, you should not have expectations at all.
The thought of expectations should not contaminate your efforts for purity, or notions of purity. Suppose you start thinking: “Oh! What is the harm if some uncleanness is there? I don’t expect anything as a reward. Even from cleanliness I don’t expect anything! What then if there is a lack?” This cannot be. It will be a grave neglect and inattention, nay, travesty of the very honesty of seeking.
That is why Krishna immediately adds: Dakshah. Dakshah means one who does everything in a very efficient, wise and meticulous manner. See how Krishna pictures the true devotee: Anapekshah sucih dakshah Udaaseeno gatavyathah ! You should be able to do everything in this manner.
So, the first quality is ‘non-expectation’; the second is ‘purity’. The next is ‘efficiency’ and this seems to be opposed to the fourth: udaaseenah meaning unconcerned or indifferent. While you are dexterous you have to be equally an indifferent person. Whatever you do, try to do it efficiently, yet with indifference.
Whatever be the outcome – good or bad – be indifferent to it. But this indifference should not prevent you from striving for the best performance. Are not all these apparent contradictions? People work with a lot of expectations. Nobody does any work without expectations. But here in the Ashram we do everything without expectations. At the same time everything has to be done in the best manner.
The fifth quality of the devotee is Gatavyathah – one who remains non-afflicted. At no point of time you should have any agony.
Now, J, think how to blend these qualities in you. If you ask whether these qualities can co-exist, I say emphatically that they can and they do. You should observe closely and keenly.
If a few disciples come to stay for about one or two months, and they give me absolute freedom to correct and train them, do you know what all I will do? I may ask them to climb up that tree and stay on it for three hours. If they say, “Swamiji, I don’t know to climb”, I would tell them, “Well, seek whatever help you need from anybody, but climb you must!” After 3 hours I may say, “Come down”. Next I would ask, “Go and take bath”. I may also ask them to wear wet clothes for a while. I will not, of course, physically pain or torture them. Suddenly I may say, “Let us all go for sight seeing today; get dressed up accordingly.” When they are ready, I may drop the plan and say, “Let us not go today!”
All this will tame the mind. If you give me the freedom, there is a way of taming your mind.
When you like to do something, I may ask you to stop and when you dislike something, I would insist that you do it. Do you understand this? We must be able to stop whenever required and be able to begin whenever so required.
So my dear J, you have to think about the whole sadhana properly. The quality of the mind is verily in the ability to do everything, and at the same time not getting ruffled by whatever comes through, not being expectant about anything. Be indifferent, but be not unclean. Be unconcerned – but be very sharp and efficient. Co-existence of these contradictions will alone make a mind pure and excellent. Now think about these propositions patiently, deeply.
Padmabhooshan Ganapathy’s son in Bokaro Steel City had once asked me, “Swamiji, the spiritual quality always breeds indifference. How can a spiritual man be efficient and effective then?” I said, “A spiritual man is a man of dispassion. Through spirituality alone, a man can attain his utmost efficiency.” I think I then quoted this verse from the Bhagavadgeeta: “Anapekshah sucir-dakshah udaaseeno gatavyathah” (12.16)
Krishna adds: “Sarvaarambha-parityaagee”. The devotee should not be interested in commencing any undertaking. At the same time you will find around him a number of undertakings grow.
In fact, this is the mystery of God. God does nothing. The whole world does everything. And this world has come from Him. If you ask Him, He will say, “Nothing has come”. Saying, “nothing has come” – being unconcerned about everything – He has caused an endless world around Him.
Just Imagine!
So J and G, you are undergoing a transition, wherein you have to reassess your position. You have to develop sufficient sensitivity to grasp the right values and enrichment and imbibe these as much as you can. You have to incorporate what is nice and what is the best in a non-expectant but very effective manner, without feeling any sense of pain or agony. Become dispassionate and indifferent to everything; yet be reliable, dependable for proper execution of whatever is necessary.
Reflect upon these qualities. Reflect upon what I said and see what is going to happen. There is no place or scope for dejection. Everyone has got a place in this world – the idiot, the fool, the immoralist, the debaucher, the prostitute, the devotee, the hater – all have their own place. You also have yours. It is not self-pity that is called for. It is not self-denial or disapproval.
Strive to develop a proper insight. I think you can and will do this.
Harih Om Tat Sat.
