CONFLICT OF A HOUSEHOLDER SEEKER
18 May 1992
New Delhi
Respected Swamiji,
What is the duty of a householder vis-à-vis his spiritual pursuit? Having a profession and a family, it is not easy to pursue the spiritual path wholesomely. The worldly preoccupations bring unavoidable distractions and hindrance to Meditation. Of course, it is possible to make some progress or prepare oneself for the goal (Self-Realization), but the final absorption cannot be had.
Now-a-days, Swamiji, I feel like joining an Asram and pursue exclusively the spiritual life under the guidance of a learned, wise Guru. Will it be right Swamiji to leave the family at this stage? Does the duty of a father or husband toward his child or wife (who need protection and guidance) permit renunciation of family ties at this stage? My heart is for joining Asram to prepare myself for Sanyasa.
My bio-data in short: This body is 42 yrs old; has a small family of wife and a daughter. Self working as an executive in a Pvt. Firm.
Your obedient student V.
Harih Om Tat Sat… On the basis of all that you have said, suggesting that you wish to be an exclusive seeker of spiritual fulfilment, and being so whether family life will have to be pursued or dropped, the subject becomes all the more significant. The implications are quite involved and delicate. Generally I would like first to be familiar with your little family and be friendly to all. Everything else can follow such friendliness and trust.
Spiritual seeking consists of gaining ample depth of realization in the form of Subjective spiritual experience and insight. Meditational absorption is a necessary for that. But the seeker should remember that he is first born in this objective world. First he saw and felt the objects through senses. Such perceptions alone generated and revealed to him the internal dimensions like mind, intelligence, etc. So, the fact and compulsion of the object world cannot be set aside or devalued.
If you look for the changeless inward Self, it is because of the contrast. It holds against the changeful external object world and object body. With the realization of the Self, you have to come back again to the object world and body. So, from objective interactions arises your Subjective absorption, and from Subject absorption again you wake up for object interaction.
Think whether the Subject state comes in between two object states, or the object state reigns within the Subject position. There cannot be even the concept of the Subject Self, unless first arises the perception of the object world. Can you then be so exclusive as to take to the Subject alone and ignore the objects? Will not such an effort be a delusion?
Think as an executive in these matters also. Vyasa, Valmiki, Sankara and so many others were displaying the zenith of activity when they thought, wrote and argued about the Self. Like a lawyer excelling before the judge, they displayed before the world of enquires the worth and magic of their vision and insight
Gopis of Vrindavan were mad after Krishna. Krishna extolled and encouraged their interest and dedication, but he saw to it that they held to their own family grounds and did not lose their domestic responses and concerns.
The subjective depth and absorption which your heart craves for, if at all, can be had sitting anywhere, by forgetting and transcending the house’s hold and the body’s hold and diving into the Self. By proper spiritual efforts – keen introspection and earnestness – this is practicable.
For any other additional strength and growth, periodic Satsang can be availed of. If family poses a problem and hindrance, that is not right. The sense of confrontation – a front put up by the mind – has to be properly dealt with through introspection and sublimated.
You can come to the Asram for a few days; have our association. Also go through the meditational absorption, but only for a short while, without causing any disharmony at home or to the existing relationships. Your wife and daughter must understand your heart’s need, about which no secret need be maintained. You must remove any fear or apprehension they may have. All this should be done in love, harmony and attunement. Interactional sublimation is as much necessary as is inward realization, in stabilizing one’s wisdom and insight.
God is Godly – with His worldly creation and worldly preservation. The seeker must also be equally divine with all that he has, does, aims at and achieves. Delving in the mind substances, communing with it, you will get to a stage when thoughts will no more be thoughts, feelings will no more be just feelings – all the interactions will become a continuous realization, like the journey through objectless space.
Swamiji
