Articles for Saadhana

Harih Om Tat Sat. Jai Guru.

What shall I say? Something is in my mind. Is it to be said like this or discussed? I don’t know.

We have three important items constituting human life. One is the character co-ordinate of a person. Why did I say character-coordinate? The character is actually a kind of an inseparable quality or virtue associated with the inner personality of man - the inner personality consisting of mind, intelligence and ego. When a quality, virtue or otherwise becomes imbued into the mind, intelligence and ego to such an extent that the mind and the intelligence and ego will not be there except with that quality or qualities, virtues, then it becomes character.

To speak lies or to speak truth, speaking truth is the characteristic of a certain mind, of a certain person. He doesn’t have to practice it as a discipline. It becomes his nature. Then we call it character. So character is an inseparable quality or virtue of the inner personality of a person. That person doesn’t have to cultivate it anymore.

In the course of time, either we imbibe some qualities or we develop some qualities. Everybody comes with a certain inheritance. To this inheritance is added, acquisitioned, when the child is reared in the hands of the mother, father, elders, in the hands of the exposure, environments etc. many things will get added to. And maybe speaking truth is something that could be added, may not be inherited but it could be added. That addition takes place ever since birth. Until the child grows into an adult, the child will be sufficiently available for exposure provided by the elders.

So, much depends upon how the parents and the others bring up the children. One is inheritance inwardly had, another is acquisition externally provided or generated. So this is the sum and substance of character.

Now what is behavior as far as I am able to think is the display of this character. Display means what? Character cannot be perceived by anybody. One can know about it himself just like we alone can know that we have a mind and there are thoughts, emotions, responses etc. Similarly, character is imperceptible to the others. But when the person starts behaving, behaving means what? His body and bodily limbs start moving, acting, his mouth starts speaking. So whatever will be visible to the others.

When I start walking, my gait becomes visible. The manner in which I place my feet, the manner in which I wave my hands, I keep my head either lifted up or a little down or parallel to the earth. How do I look at the people when I talk to them? What is the level of voice I keep, all these will become behavior, whatever is visible.

This behavior can be in matters which concern you alone, for example the manner in which one washes his teeth, one takes his bath, one dresses himself up, he sits, he uses the articles whatever are necessary for his work, how he has his food, the manner in which he chews his food, the manner in which he puts it into the mouth, whether he makes outside the palm dirty, does he lick during the meals, many things like this can be noticeable. In everything that one does.

So, one part of the behavior is restricted to oneself but visible to the others. One part of the behavior is restricted to oneself and not visible to the others. Suppose you take bath closing the door of the bathroom, whatever you do there, your toilet habits, they cannot be visible to the others. But that is also behavior.

In America, one woman came to us and showed a photograph. “See? My husband, just see?” She has taken a photograph of the toilet, the closet in which the fickle matter is there. So her complaint was that, not complaint, she was saying, “My husband never flushes the closet. And it remains there for long hours.” See, this is something that nobody will know. After the act is done, this habit is discovered by close people like the wife, mother, brother, sister etc. but this is also behavior.

Somebody keeps the taps open, the tap open for a long time. The tap is supposed to be closed and opened. Close it, whenever you want you open it and then close it. It is not supposed to be kept open for hours, even for seconds. So how does he use the tap, how does he use the water? Even in opening the tap, do you open it fully when so much is not necessary? There must be a sense of refinement and economy in using the tap! Similarly when you wash your hand you start shaking, the whole place around gets sprinkled with water. Everywhere you will find behavior comes into play.

Generally, as we grow, the mother and father are supposed to look into our behavioral patterns and bring about corrections and refinement. Sometimes they do, sometimes they fail, sometimes they try, yet they become unsuccessful, like that.

Then the third factor is interaction. The interaction can be with reference to, I generally analyze the interactions like this. Interactions with persons, they maybe members of your family, maybe professional associates, colleagues, then members of the society, when you travel, go to the market, whenever you have to deal with, interact with members of the society, that is social interaction, attending a meeting, going for an invitation and so many other things.

So it can be interactions with persons, places and events. You interact with environments, circumstances, the objects around you. When you sit on a chair, where do you keep the chair, how distant is the table, how you keep materials in the table, all these are included in interaction.

Then you interact with persons, interpersonal behavior. Now these are together forming the personality of a person, of a man, one’s personality. I think I would like you to observe, study and understand the character, behavior and interaction and these are subject to improvement till the last breadth is what I would like to say.

I told you about my switching off the geyser switch, today I forgot. I was very punctual about remembering it. The moment I get out, with the left hand I switch off. I thought that right hand will be faster. So I have changed it to the right hand. That has not become a habit. Today I found I did not do it. Just imagine! This is something that I have been struggling for months and perhaps years. Still that habit, that sensitivity has not come. Sensitivity is there but it has not become a habit. Because this is something that I do everyday at least twice. So as a part of the whole process, it should be in me. But in spite of my effort and remembrance, for a number of days I was doing it, today I forgot. Just see? And I cannot blame anybody for it. Now others also should appreciate that this habits are very hard to cultivate.

Now why I mentioned this? I find that all of you, I am now addressing only the members of the Ashram, I think everyone will have to look into the character, behavior and interaction and see whether they cannot be improved. I find a lot of dislike, resistance, unnecessary flair for criticism, “You did this, you did that, you did this, I cannot, I will not.” One of you when the two people are involved, at least one of you consider it to be an excellence. What? “At least I will be trying for setting right.” Otherwise it is something like instead of extinguishing the fire you add a little more, you ignite it further, inflame it more.

I think unless we have an eye on our character, behavior and interaction and try to improve them constantly, it can be a very good goal of life, otherwise what is the motivation? But there are occasions when we do it. For example a writer, he is very particular about choosing his words, which word to prefix what, to suffix what, what is the better word, how to use, our brain goes on searching, searching and searching. So it is something that he tries to constantly improve upon. In the same manner, can we not try to improve upon our character, behavior and interaction?

Last night I had asked Arpita to send an email to somebody, day before yesterday. She did not send. Yesterday I was about to telephone that person to find out what happened. So I never wanted to ask her even whether she had sent. So when that subject came up she said “I have not sent.” I have decided that I will not speak hot to ‘X’ because she is relatively a newcomer and for me to gain confidence and intimacy with her, generally it takes time. So I used to say “I don’t quarrel with you and I don’t propose to talk to you angrily.”

So yesterday I spoke to her. I spoke to her maybe one or two words of indignation, retort also could have been there. You know, but I am not happy about it. In my case, why did I do so if you ask me there is a lot of impersonality and impartiality about it. Sometimes she doesn’t. How to bring about a change and increase her sensitivity? She is not able to do it. So maybe a little irritation from my side maybe helpful, I cannot say. I don’t claim that it is like that but maybe it could be so. Otherwise my intention is not to speak anything hot. So I said “Don’t send. Every time you are doing like this. When something is important I am going to learn how to send emails myself because whenever I ask you to do, say to do something you are not doing. Sometimes it gets delayed by two hours, one day, two days etc. so I am going to learn it myself.” So I certainly spoke with a little objection and resentment. But when I look at it I find can I not avoid this? Let me accept whatever has come.

I told you earlier also our Gurudev had come to our house in poorvashrama. He came and stayed for a long time. He had written a postcard to be sent to the addressee. And he must have given it to one of us for posting. We found that the postcard was there after about a few weeks. Then, I took it to him saying that “This is the card you had written. We have not posted it.” He looked at it and smiled and kept quiet. We posted it the same day or next day. At that time posting was, we had to go to the post office, quite a distance and then post.

So just see! Every time you should look for something called refinement, enrichment, enlightenment and elevation. So to the inmates with a lot of hearty feelings at the same time I have a little pathos about this. How is it that they are not able to develop a methodology by virtue of which each will become dear to the other and this quarrelsome attitude, fault-finding attitude will be replaced by something better? Character, behavior and interaction – these three are very, very important and we can improve them greatly.

Harih Om Tat Sat. Jai Guru. Jai Guru.