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Harih Om Tat Sat. Jai Guru.
S. has come from Coimbatore. He is a disciple of mine. He happened to seek deeksha, brahmavidya deeksha from me when he was employed in Jamshedpur, in 1972. Then he professionally came over to Coimbatore. For some time he was in Chennai also. Now he is again in Coimbatore. He has been very closely associated with the ashram and also with me.
Very recently he had some very pressing developments in his life, particularly with regard to his health. He was in the hospital, perhaps in the ICU, and he had a heart problem. It was being attended to by expert doctors. That was the time his wife K. was also admitted in the same hospital. And she was also undergoing perhaps a very precarious spell. And it so happened that K. passed away. The information was not conveyed to him because of his sickness and in the ICU treatment. Then after some time … he has two daughters, the younger of whom, D., is in Germany. Then D. later on told me we have not disclosed the information to our father. Swamiji, you should yourself write a letter to him mentioning that our mother has passed away and these were the circumstances in which the last moment took place. So heeding what the daughter said, I wrote to him a letter, and the letter was conveyed to him. I was not there but I believe S. took it in a very patient manner, and later on he had another serious spell. From Coimbatore he had to be flown in a special helicopter or aircraft to Chennai for treatment etc. That part was over.
I wrote a letter to Mr R., the Managing Director or Chairman of the company in which he works, acknowledging and appreciating what all he did for an employee of his. I was very touched. They spent all the money for his treatment, quite a few lakhs of rupees. Then something happened later with his health and he became very desperate. In that despair what he did was … I think he took quite a number of sleeping tablets and he also drank three or four bottles of a poisonous spray. That also he gulped in. He wanted to put an end to his life and he also became a sannyasin. We have got a tradition, where life is threatened we offer ourselves for sannyasa. So he accepted sannyasa at that time, saying that “I am going to die in any way.” He has only two daughters. Both of them are married. But to his surprise and to the surprise of all concerned, nothing happened to him and he survived.
Thereafter he had another spell of stomach pain disorder etc., and he was in very severe crisis. There seems to be a doctor in Coimbatore who has done about 1,30,000 operations. What is his name? Shanmukha Sundaram. He felt his stomach and found that there is some disorder, something very serious and then pictures were taken and ultimately he decided to operate. He said that this operation is four times risky. So far just like a heart operation, four times a heart operation it is risky. And he found that he had a hernia. The doctor who set right this hernia had by mistake stitched the intestines to the stomach walls. That he could identify and separate and he is somewhat safe now, except that he has lost his weight. He is recovering it.
So he has been telling me, “Swamiji, I want to take up sannyasa.” But he is holding a very responsible position in a company. It is generally associated with Sakti Sugars. He has been a Sakti Sugars man, M's very trusted person. Now he is working for R. Considering his special circumstances, and also the fact that he is associated with a company who has looked after him very well, who still wants his services, I don’t want to suddenly agree to a full sannyasa at this time. So I said, “The best for you will be to become a sadhu and I will give you a dress, which is characteristic, which is compatible with a Sadhu’s status.” So he wanted me to give the dress today, and he doesn’t have full dress. So I said that “You take this dress from me, wear it when additional dresses of the same kind are already stitched and made available. So you can go and wear it at home. But I give you formally this.” So he will be Sadhu S. from today onwards. He will be a Sadhu S. So far as his sadhana, religio-spiritual background, characteristic and other things are concerned, I don’t have anything specially to say. “What is your age now?” He is already seventy years old and he is living a very austere life. He is a very traditional person also. So according to the super tradition we have, I am giving you this dress. You start wearing it when you have made additional dresses, but once you wear it I would like you to stick to it, not interfere it with other forms of dress. That is why I am not asking you to wear it now. Otherwise I would have liked to see you with this dress. So I give it to you with a lot of heartiness. I am very happy that S. has felt like doing this. He always wanted to have sannyasa.
There is a sloka in Vivekachudamani which says:
This is a very great verse in Vivekachudamani. But generally I don’t recite this verse at all. First of all it is to be understood and realized by oneself. Secondly, I don’t have an audience before whom I can discuss this, because it goes to the zenith of self-realisation and a pronouncement that is made from the highest level. So years back S. told me that “Swamiji, in Vivekachudamani there is a verse like this. I like it very much.” “Achchhaa, you have spotted it and you like it . I will explain to you what is that verse.”
nārāyaṇo.ahaṃ narakāntako.ahaṃ - I am Lord Narayana. I am a destroyer of Naraka.
purāntako.ahaṃ - I am a destroyer of an Asura called Tripura.
puruṣo.ahamīśaḥ - I am the supreme Lord, the primordial Purusha who created this world, who sustains it.
akhaṇḍabodho.aham - How can anybody make such a statement? The actual realization is “I am akhaṇḍabodhaḥ. I am unbroken, indivisible, incessant, continuous awareness which does not get broken.”
This girl was telling a number of thoughts come. Therefore what? No thought can break your mind. No thought can intercept the consciousness. Consciousness is such an all pervading thing. No thought process can make any stain or mark on the consciousness. The question is that we don’t realize it. Once you realize it, you don’t have to control your thoughts at all. No control. Nothing. Let everything come. Does the breath affect you? It gets in; it goes away. When it gets in, it is pure oxygen. When it goes away, it is contaminated carbon dioxide. Part of the carbon dioxide will be in your system also. But you are not affected. In the same manner, by any thought process either the mind or the consciousness is not affected. It remains indivisible and unbroken – akhaṇḍabodho.aham.
Not only that – aśeṣasākṣī. The whole universe is witnessed by me. When I witness the whole universe and the infinitude of the universe is witnessed by me you tell me in a simple manner, what should be the magnitude of the witness? If infinitude is perceived and felt by me, should I not also be infinite? Otherwise how can I say I am experiencing infinitude? I am not different from my experience. So I am infinitude myself – aśeṣasākṣī – therefore:
nirīśvaro.ahaṃ - I have no more any God. I don’t look to any God. There is no God at all for me.
nirīśvaro.ahaṃ nirahaṃ ca nirmamaḥ. Why? Because I don’t have the veil called I, which separates me from the rest.
nirahaṃ ca nirmamaḥ - and I don’t have anything I possess something and mine. My body is held by the earth. My lungs are held by the air. My stomach is held by food grown in the earth. So what is there which I call mine? Am I belonging to nature? Or anything in this world belongs to me? So nothing belongs to me. I myself like the world belongs to something else. This kind of a non-possessiveness I have got. Therefore
So I am very happy that S. has come to this level. He mentioned to me this verse years back and I remembered it very well. None of my devotees or seekers or disciples has never mentioned about this verse from Vivekachudamani, though they are supposed to be reading it, understanding it. I have also discussed many verses but I have never discussed this verse because of the super sensitive note and the super responsibility it imposes upon the one who uses it. So this is one particular verse which you had mentioned to me which still comes to my mind with a lot of vivid memory. So I am very happy. You don’t have any routine or anything to be particularly observed. I know whatever you do . You wear this dress because you have to go to the office and let us see what happens. Nature will drive you from one to the other. Carry on. Look after your health. Don’t be dependent at all upon anybody. Keep in touch and we will discuss further matters. Ok?
Harih Om Tat Sat. Jai Guru.