Articles for Saadhana

Harih Om Tat Sat. Jai Guru.

Generally in the morning I walk in the corridor and also to some extent in the verandah outside my office room. I go to the northern end of the corridor, southern end, then generally go outside in the verandah to the western end, come back, then turn eastward, go to the office room and then go to the outside verandah room and go to the east end, then go, come back and repeat. But for quite some time, a few weeks, maybe one or two months, the doctor told me that I should not step down even one step. So I stopped entering into this northern side verandah in front of the kitchen. Today I thought I would take a walk there.

Generally whenever I used to walk, those who are working in the kitchen I used to see them and I will speak one or two words, “Did you sleep?” etc. Today because I took this step after a number of weeks or months, as usual I asked ‘Z’, “Did you have a good sleep?” when I was walking. Suddenly I thought I would talk to her something spiritual. So I said, “’Z’, remember. In spirituality what we have to aim at is kartṛtva and bhoktṛtva, elimination of that.” In one sense it is called ego effacement. But I would like to describe it as ego sublimation.

Our ego should be sublimated in such a manner that it helps us to live and move in a great, noble, grand manner. Normally what happens is the ego constricts and interferes and it will never allow us to do something very great either due to personal competition or inability to think properly. Just imagine, Dasaratha died because of his ego. He felt that Rama was his son and he was such a pet son. He would not be able to live without Rama. So when Rama went, he called “Rama…” and fell. Is so much of ego desirable or necessary you say? At the same time Kausalya who bore Sri Rama in her womb, gave birth to, suckled, breastfed and looked after Rama, she came to a reconciliation, understood the greatness of Rama’s decision, fell in line with it and she said, “Go with my blessings. I am sorry I could not initially respond to your decision favorably. I am sorry, I will be here. Go with my blessings. Let your fourteen years pass off as fourteen months. I shall be here to greet you.”

I would like every one of you to think about this episode. Can our buddhi and the mind be so constricted, so narrow that because of an ego we simply die? This has happened in other instances also. A friend sometimes misbehaving may completely upset you. Similarly disloyalty on the part of wife, on the part of husband, on the part of a friend. What is the ultimate goal in our life? Should we not have a goal? And that goal should be in ourselves. Let the whole world cheat us. But we will not be cheated.

In our Ashram sometimes we indulge in charities, not sometimes, many times and there are thoughts “Did we do the right thing? Should we give?” etc. I always take the position “We would like to give. We want to give. We are happy in giving.” Maybe our giving is wrong. Therefore what? The greatness, the credit and the merit of having given, it can never be stolen. We have given. The man who has received is using. Whether he used it rightly or wrongly, the giving is giving.

So ultimately our action must be self dependent, self restful. That is why the Upanishads say

Everything becomes dear and near only because of the self, for the sake of the self.

During my stay in Hrishikesh, one time I took a trip to the Bhoothanath mountains. I went here and there and once I was told about a Tat Vale Maharaj, a very tall man who stayed in the Bhoothanath caves for many years. Throughout his life what he did was he took a tough steel nail-like chisel and a hammer. Can you imagine? Looking up, he was fixing the chisel on the mountainous rock and then he hammered, hammered and chiseled a portion. How many days and months he must have chiseled before he could make a cave in a mountain! I understood that all the caves in the mountains are not self born. Many of them are made by the people. He must have made half a dozen or so caves in his life. Can you imagine?

A housewife in the kitchen goes on cooking in the house. A driver goes on driving. A fisherman goes on fishing. An administrator goes on administering. A political representative goes on standing for election, meeting success and defeat. In the last election there was a sweeping defeat for many people. They are not losing. They are still persisting. Persistence in doing a particular task unmindful of whatever happens, continuously doing it, doing it, doing it, this is what one makes great. I think great things have been born only by this.

In my life if you ask me, “What is the speciality Swamiji if you have?” I have one speciality – austerity. I have always been doing austerity. One or two people have told me “Swamiji…” Sometimes they read Vicharasetu and they say something. “Swamiji. This is all a result of your austerity.” Especially Ramachandran auditor from Palghat says. What is austerity? I came here, set up a small cottage, another two people were with me, we had very austere, poor days here. Whatever came in my way I accepted. I was very loving and loyal to the people who were with me. I continued to look after their interests. To some extent I did not have time for other things also but I continued.

This ashram means this hilltop where we stay. Certainly it is a place of austerity. My austerity is not so much physical. Yes it is physical because without the body I cannot do anything. But it falls in the category of jñana-tapas. So any work that you take up, you have to do it and you should not have any kartṛtva or bhoktṛtva.

Then she was asking me “What is this kartṛtva and bhoktṛtva?” I said, “You have a daughter. You have given birth to her. She has been brought up. She is married. She lives. Never have an ego that ‘She is my daughter.’ I have given birth to a child, looked after the child, did whatever was necessary as a mother. She has studied and she is now married and she lives in her way, that’s all. Simply remain like air and space. If they want anything, okay oblige. Otherwise you say ‘I am living a different path. You manage yourself. Desperately if you need, call me.’ You should not think that suppose something goes wrong “Oh! It has gone wrong. It is my daughter and I suffer.’ Or something goes big. ‘Oh it is my daughter. I am credited.’”

When the mind becomes free of kartṛtva and bhoktṛtva, that higher and higher dimensions strike the mind and you start growing and growing. We cannot say how much we can grow. It can be any work. Just imagine the Tat Vale Maharaj. He was only chiseling, chiseling, chiseling. Just imagine! People have to do something. In Matṛbhumi there was a report about a pakshi human. I wanted to read it. I could not read. He was looking after birds and birds became his friends, he became their friend also. It appears that he has done some tapasya when the birds were withering for rains and rain God obliged him. Just imagine what is in all this!

We are a few tapasvins living in this ashram. Around us an institution is growing. I cannot say it has grown. And some of you come and assist us. I would like you to know the value of this assistance. Those people who stay there as inmates doing one part of the Ashram institutional work or the other, it is something very great. Without two hands can my body function? Without the two legs can I function? So the hands, the fingers, the legs, the feet, all of them are doing something! In the same manner, this institution cannot work, we cannot live here, we want somebody to prepare food for us, for the people who come here, we are trying to get one cook after the other, we are going to keep two so that there should be no disturbance or difficulty.

Everything we are trying to do. But we also have our life, somebody will have to give us food, maybe a little special food. You don’t understand how importance it is! Any work. Actually every work in this ashram should be done by devotees. But we don’t have such devotees and some of the devotees are unable to do it, they are not able to evaluate it and get the joy of doing the work.

Yesterday or day before yesterday ‘Z’ was telling me. Whenever he comes to me I talk something. So he was saying “Swamiji, you are feeling like sleeping and you are sleeping. Denying your sleep you are writing letters, you are writing this, you are writing that. What makes you do this? I feel it is your love for the others.”

I thought he has observed. His point was that “People generally like to sleep. And foregoing your sleep and postponing your sleep you are writing letters. So how much of weddedness you must have for the people who have written to you letters?”

So you should understand that it is much greater than going to vaikunda and helping Mahavishnu to do something. Especially Mahavishnu has to eat, somebody has to cook food also. So the one thing that we cannot stop in this ashram is kitchen and dining hall. Even satsang perhaps we may drop but we cannot drop the kitchen and the dining.  So all these things require kartṛtva and bhoktṛtva effacement, then you reach the best. Think about it. you can ask me, I will explain it further.

Harih Om Tat Sat. Jai Guru. Jai Guru.